June 25th, 2005

mushishi - mushi

Midsummer's night

It feels strange, sitting here like this. At my parent's place in the Swedish countryside, having celebrated Midsummer's Eve with a whole bunch of extended family, and my closest friends. I can't really put my finger on it, except that it's this I'm leaving behind. Usually I wouldn't worry too much about being too tired to take a walk in the soft blue light of this Nordic not-quite night, but this year I know that it's not as easy as "I can just do it next year". Of course, is never is that easy - nothing is ever guaranteed that way. But it usually feels like it. This year it doesn't, because I know that "next year" I will be somewhere the nights are deep and dark and starry, not light like this.

Light... it's almost light enough to read by, outside. Not quite, but almost. Like deep twilight, with a sky that's still slightly other-than-blue around the edges from the recent sunset, and is already growing gray with dawn in the east...

I know this isn't the longest night of the year. In Sweden, Midsummer is second only to Christmas (quite interesting in a country where Church and State only separated some five years ago - of course, Sweden is also extremely secular, but the rest of our holidays are all Christian ones). Since it's such a huge deal, Midsummer's Day is always a Saturday. But in Sweden we don't celebrate Days. We celebrate Eves. Don't ask me why, but that's the way it is. Christmas for us is December 24th. So. Today is Midsummer's Eve, and I can pretend that I didn't totally forget about the real solstice...

It's beautiful, this summer night. Light and quiet and... friendly. And not just because I've got most of my loved ones just a stone's throw from where I'm sitting. I will miss nights like these... but with a little bit of luck, the rest of my life will hold many, many more of them, and I'm curious to see what I will be doing a year from now. I can't imagine it, which is why it's going to be so much fun finding out!
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