Watched it back to back with the season finale together with vargen, missed xparrot and gnine like crazy, almost passed out from not breathing. Not breathing is BAD, or so vargen tells me.
...I don't even know where to begin, so I'll begin with what I said towards the end, which is KRIPKE YOU EVIL BASTARD I LOVE YOU ARGH SQUEE OMG 111.
From the moment we saw John alive, and his reaction to Dean's situation... kind of had a feeling this was going to happen. My absolute favourite scenario would've been the demon keeping John alive, but. If it's smarter than that, this works too. In a horrible evil painful going to CRY NOW way, but it works. And - John gave his life for Dean. Can we please end the debate on whether he's a bad father who doesn't love his kids now?
KRIPKE YOU BASTARD I need to know what John said to Dean before going off to sacrifice himself. Was it the Secret, about Sam and the others like him? I'm guessing yes, though it's not sure. And - did he tell Dean what he'd done? In some way? Mention the gun and how looking for it might be a bit pointless? Something, anything to make him understand... Except he wouldn't want Dean to have to carry that burden, so he probably didn't say anything about it but the WHISPERING KRIPKE I HATE YOU!
Also? Cutting THERE, before the actual reaction? Did I mention the part where I hate Kripke for breaking my heart in brilliant ways and not hurting me enough? If we don't get to see the reaction, I'll... go read fanfic, probably. Lots of it. Um. Yeah.
But! The episode! So good! With the squee! So much squee I forgot to breathe. Aaaaaaaa! Sam and Dean! And Sam and John! And John and Sam and CRYING, they're always crying, that was... ow. Ow. Pain. Good pain. Just - poor Dean. Poor, poor Dean, and Sam, and they're well and truly alone now. OW. Poor boys. Need hugs. From each other. Lots of them.
Babble! Random! When Dean was flat-lining? Sam watching? Clinging to the door? Practically crying? And Dean unable to get through and comfort him? AWW. So much aww. Like the ouija-board. Which made me laugh out loud, but still aww. Something minor like a lack of body won't stop the two of them! ♥ And the glass! With Dean's expression - I wish he'd remembered that part, at least. 'cause that wasn't all that horribly traumatizing. Unlike the whole thing with the Reaper and seeing his own body and seeing his brother and father fight and being unable to stop it... MEEP.
I wonder if they'll figure it out. I wonder what it'll do to Dean. To Sam. I wonder if we'll EVER find out what John told Dean, because I might have mentioned it's driving me a LITTLE insane. Just a little!
All in all - if John had to die, I couldn't have imagined a better way. I'll miss him, and I wish it'd have been possible to keep him vaguely around - not in every episode, but like in the first season. But if that's not possible, then this is... very satisfying, actually.
It's also kind of - I know there are people who'll say that, well, then Sam should just've shot the gun and they would've had the demon and it wouldn't have mattered, because John's dead either way, BUT. This way - he got to... Dean got to hear things that he desperately needed to hear. If John would've died in that cabin... It wouldn't have been the same. Of course, now John died for Dean and HUGE GUILT TRIP may result, but at least he knows his father loved him. Knows his father always needed him as much as Dean needed him and Sam, no matter what the demon said. And for me... that's worth it, even aside from the fact that otherwise Sam would've killed his father.
Mmm. Satisfying. That's a good word for the entire episode. Satisfying. Another word is GIVE ME MORE RIGHT NOW DAMMIT! ♥